My day is just getting started. So many decisions to make. I’m not sure where to begin. I guess I will start with telling myself I am beautiful and I love me. Today Monday, February 20, 2017 is going to be a great day. GOD is worthy to be praised. I love the Lord.
Today is significant because the Album by Erykah Badu called “Baduizm” was released. I remember it like it was yesterday. My husband was married to someone else and I was married to someone else too. Thinking back Erykah Badu also did a Live album that same year in which “Call Tyrone” was on that album and that song completely fit my ex husband. LOL…it’s funny that at certain times in your life songs are definitely the soundtracks to your life. I definitely can say that Baduizm was a soundtrack to my life 20 years ago. I was 27 years old and I had very young children. Ms. Badu most likely had no idea how her music would reach out and touch millions of us starving for something new and refreshing. Even more so how the words to her songs would cause many of us women, that were putting up with all kinds of craziness in substandard relationships. To eventually break free and seek out something better, even if it meant we would remain single for decades. Baduizm was uplifting and supplied the ability to think freely so I could move forward. It actually lit a fire under me. It made me question the state of the relationship that I was end and also come to the conclusion that the person that I was with was not positively serving me. It was a toxic relationship. Thank God I was able to move forward because now things are totally different. Being in a loving relationship is my reality and I am truly blessed. Erykah Badu Thankyou for Baduizm.
It began almost 30 years ago. I saw him…
I was standing at the top of the stairs and he was working in the store. I said to myself, “He is so handsome; one day he is going to be my husband.” That day changed my life forever. I had no idea it would take almost 30 years. He would marry someone else and so did I. The roads we traveled separately were tumultuous and daunting. Don’t get me wrong there has been good times over the years. Everything hasn’t been all bad. Thinking back everything that I have been through was preparing me for this moment. The moment I have dreamed countless times about. The moment that I thought would never come to fruition; especially after so many years I admit I lost faith.
Losing faith but still asking God, What’s the deal? If he and I are not suppose to be together remove him from my heart. I mean I do believe If I ask for something and I am sincere in my asking I will receive whatever it is I am requesting. Yes, it works. I am living proof of asking and receiving. I have done it many, many times but my request about this particular topic was falling on death ears so much so that every time I asked he would come back stronger. No matter what I did or said I couldn’t shake him.
and so it has come to fruition…He is mine and I am his…
Everything happens for a reason. It’s been a long 29 years and finally; after all the tears, relationships that didn’t work for whatever reason, more tears. Searching and thinking I found him only to find out I was trying to make it be something it wasn’t. To everyone that walked away Thankyou. You cleared the path for him.
I love to talk to you, it’s not everyday that a woman finds a man she loves talking too.
paraphrased from Barry White’s I can’t believe you love me.
A real man accepts responsibility for his actions, admits when he is wrong, apologizes for hurting the one he loves, does whatever he needs to do to correct the issue and does his best not to do the same thing over again.