How many of you have really given monogamy serious thought? Have you really asked yourself what monogamy means to you and what are your expectations for the person that you believe should be monogamous to you?
The definition of Monogamus is the practice or condition of having a single sexual partner for a certain amount of time.
A lot of men do not look at sex the way most women do. Men can very well have an emotional connection with you and not equate it with sex. Sex is a physical act that does not necessarily have an emotional connection to it. Most women on the other hand equate emotion and sex together and by default sex becomes connected to their heartstrings.
For myself I can have an emotional connection to you and not be connected emotionally through sex. In order for me to decide to be monogamous sexually the man would have to prove to me he can supply all of my sexual needs. I am attracted to sexy, attractive people. Just because I say I love you doesn’t necessarily mean that I will commit to having sex with you only for an extended amount of time. Unfortunately because I have a tendency to be honest about this subject it doesn’t go over very well.
A lot of men have a tendency to tell the women that they are seeing that they are just seeing them and they are satisfied. Reality is that they most likely are seeing someone else because she provides something sexually that the other woman doesn’t. This by no means is saying that he doesn’t love her or is not emotionally connected to the woman that has made herself monogamous because he says she is the only one he is seeing. It just means she does not satisfy all of his sexual needs/desires. This goes for many woman as well.
With all that in mind. You have to be adult enough to have a conversation about sex, monogamy and expectations. You should never assume anything in a relationship or with matters of the heart. People are human and seek variety and excitement. There should be a honest conversation about sex, monogamy and the expectations of the relationship. If you are unable to comply or cope with what each other’s beliefs and desires are than you should be allowed to decide whether you want to continue with the relationship. It is very important that you listen and hear what the other person has to say.
A conversation should include these questions and each person should answer as honestly as possible. Adults are just that adult and capable of saying what they want and don’t want without being chastised for what they say.
Are you generally monogamous? If yes, why? If not, why not?
Are your views of monogamy your own or have you gone with the flow of “normalcy”? Are they inspired by religion or something else?
How important is being monogamous to you when in relationships?
If you’re not in a committed relationship, do you still expect monogamy with your partners?
Let me know your thoughts!